Alice

Today a dear friend went to be with Jesus. While we rejoice with the angels over her home going, we mourn... deeply.
I had no idea how hard I would take that. It was sudden and shocking... and even after crying about it for hours it doesn't seem real!
Thankfully she is now whole. She is able to freely praise the Lord and isn't limited like she was here. It is obvious she touched many lives with the response I've seen, and will be dearly missed. She was ready though. She had her proverbial house in order, and would talk about "when I'm not around anymore" frequently enough that you knew she had her eyes on the goal and not the distance to it!

It is so odd to me that she was just here last Wednesday, and I was planning on calling her today so we could go visit them tomorrow. She brought back a cd I'd loaned her which we both really enjoyed... it was sad to listen to it today and yet sweet to sing the praises on it knowing that she was singing praises too! We were both adoring at the same time the Lord who brought us together and now has us parted for a time.

Neno said, "It makes me sad to think that they will not see Mrs. Moreland here anymore, they have to wait to see her in heaven, unless Jesus comes back..." It makes me sad too.

Alice, you are missed. Thank you Lord for the time you shared her with us! I pray we will be good stewards of our todays with our loved ones, and hold them close while we can.

If someone else were mother to my children...

We read today in Exodus about Pharaoh's command to kill all the male babies. We talked about some of the parents who followed the order, and those who practiced civil disobedience... Moses' parents.
This lead to a discussion about the value of life and the modern practice of abortion.

If someone else were my children's mother:
Ysa would've been aborted because a 17 year old, unmarried, high school senior was too scared to face that path.
Neno may have been aborted because of finances, and close proximity in age; or perhaps because my husband wasn't ready to have another.
Aliyah would have been aborted because she has kidney issues, and in-utero we were uncertain what that would mean for her future.
Brianna and Karissa may never have been conceived if "permanent" actions had been taken, but if they were many would have *had* to have them aborted because they had "too many" already, couldn't "afford that many" or don't think they can "handle them all."

As for me, I can't imagine life without them! I thank God for them!

Only those who have been able to be around my kids will fully understand what the world would miss without them.
I can't help but think... what does this world miss now because so many are aborted each day!?!

Edited to add:
I hurt for those who have bought the lies of the abortion industry. Those who made decisions based on fears and the timely counsel that is offered by those who would have us believe that one person's rights mean nothing if they happen to be inside of another person... and that they in fact, are not a person at all. (which is not what ultrasounds show... if they'd only let women see those!)
Just on re-reading this post, I was struck by it's insensitive sound, and felt that more was needed.
If you have experienced the hurt left behind after an abortion, please know that I am not condemning you. I feel for you, and would recommend reading Holly's blog.

odd combination of thoughts

If Ysa were to have a child at the age I had her... I'd be a Grandma in 7 years!!!!!!!!!!! :O woah!

On nights where I am up late I require a snack... really I need it! So I wonder... as an underweight, nursing mother, do I always need that snack and am only awake for it on occasion (which seems to be frequent occasions) or do I need it only because I am still alert and requiring my body and brain to function???? The world may never know... (or care for that matter) ;)

tornado of the mind

I have so many mixed emotions today.
Sadness, Joy, Expectation, Love, Hurt all mixed up... and so many thoughts to go with them.

10 years ago today, my daddy went to be with Jesus. I'm so filled with Joy that he is there; he is whole; he is free from this world and his struggles; I will see him again. So Sad that I have lost an important man in my life, before so much of my life could happen; that my sister hasn't had him there, even for her wedding; that my kids will only know of him, not know him; missing him.

6 years ago today I let go of the hope that would've been our child in the late summer of that year. I was so hurt at the idea of loosing on this day, why this day; but it has been a blessing to me to have one day to mourn and not two. I am glad God always knows better!!!

I have love for them, hope that one day we will be together, and hurt at having lost their presence in my life for now.
I don't even know I can express in words what today has felt like, but bittersweet seems to be one of my favorites. I'm not going to pretend to be where I'm not. I'm not just fine, but I'm not overwhelmed. I do not mourn like those who have no hope, but I do mourn. I've had my moments, and not when or where I expected them.

Now I don't even know how to end my post... nor what I really wanted to say.

The Malachi 3:10 Principle

"Test me in this,” says the LORD Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it. "

Try to out give God....
It'll NEVER work!!!

I wasn't exactly trying to out give Him, but I had been talking with my children about this principle of generosity recently, then had the opportunity to give to another family in need. We collected some clothing of a needed size we could quite easily share... didn't even put a dent into the store we have already been blessed with. We collected a few other things and I was touched by the giving spirit some of my children displayed!
We took them to drop them off on our way to another friend's house to visit & drop stuff off... 15 minutes between the 2 stops. When we arrived at the second stop, my friend informed me she had some clothes for us in the exact size we just dropped off!!! Literally TWICE the amount I had just left 15 minutes earlier!!!!
As I marveled at God's display to my husband and children, I joked about how God doubled our gift and how we could never out give Him!
That was Friday... on Sunday, just for fun ;), He gave us another store of clothes of about double the amount we gave AND had someone else tell us they have clothes for us!!!

We now have the ability to give to other families again with the abundance He has blessed us!
Know that God's word is true always!

The Lost Art of Letter Writing

Long ago, before computers became the generally accepted mode of communication, we used a pressed fiber sheet and graphite or ink implement with which to make markings on said sheet.
Many fibers can be used for making these sheets like cotton, linen, even elephant dung (ick) but my favorite, being cheap and readily accessible, is tree fibers. There are even forms that are pre-folded and contain art work and sometimes sentiments that may be appropriate for your occasion; like "Merry Christmas;" "Happy Birthday;" or "Thank you!"
Other accessories you may need are specially folded fiber sheets in order to send your message through the postal system* and the necessary postal tax.
*Postal system: an archaic system of boxes and sorting facilities run by government workers which collect and distribute articles and tax the users.

The implement you choose for marking with will need some practice to use well. Wrapping your fingers around close to the tip area will help. After many year of only scrolling your signature and occasional list, you may find that your hand cramps quickly; I suggest starting out slowly, and taking breaks as needed.

Though antiquated with the arrival of email and social networking, many are still moved my a single note sent by post. The art of writing a "thank you card," for example, though extinct prior to the internet communication takeover, still moves many to endearment of the sender and in turn causes the "thanked" to give thanks to the sender!

perspective

The LORD has been showing me some areas that my perspective may need a little tweaking.

First... for quite some time I've been a little down on the messages our Pastor gives. They are smart and funny, they are biblical; but they feel so surface level that I wanted something deeper. Each message I'd think of some nugget of Truth I wished he would have brought out. Well, it hit me like a ton of bricks that maybe, just maybe, the HOLY SPIRIT sharing those nuggets with me had nuggets HE was sharing with every believer at their own place... some deeper and some closer to the surface. Maybe my little nuggets of Truth were actually just underneath the surface and I was feeling prideful about "needing more depth" than I was getting.
Time for some perspective.

Then it was about GOD being the ONE in control... as in not me! :-O ;)
I was driving myself home from a failed visit with a friend who happened to be struggling very much emotionally. At first I was upset that I had not gotten to visit, and with the way it was prevented... then I said "GOD is in control. Maybe HE doesn't need me to do HIS work! (like that's news) Maybe I need a reality check. GOD is able to make good of the effort; whether it was prevented by the enemy or was GOD's will that I not visit her at the time doesn't matter... HE will work all things together for the good of those who love HIM, who are called according to HIS purpose." With this perspective firmly in place, I was able to simply pray over the friend from afar, knowing that the SPIRIT I was speaking to was not bound by my location but was with her also.
So today when everything felt like it was going wrong (and my attitude was showing it!) I went... wait a minute! GOD knows all of this is happening. It is NOT outside of HIS control or HIS plan and purpose for me... plans to prosper me and not to harm me, to give me hope and a future. Therefore, these things that seem to be wrong are not all they seem. HE will make good of it!

That perspective, and some Carob Cake, went a long way toward changing my bad attitude. ;)

Just 5 more minutes ....

12:02 AM : putting 4 year old back into bed, discover 8 and 11 year olds still awake...
Me: "Good night girls, it's after midnight."
(giggling)
11 Year old: "Good morning Mom, it's after midnight."

LOL!

and another thought....
Every time I get my "to do before baby" list shortened, I add something!
"If only I can do _____________ before she comes." "Well, and maybe _______ too."
At this rate I would be pregnant forever! Good thing I don't have a choice, and in the mean time of waiting, I wont be bored! he he he

Trusting God

A running theme that I have been thinking on is "What is it to trust God?" and "when is it ok to tell someone to "Trust God" (Which IMHO is a cliche` way of not offering support to someone who needs a listening ear)

So tonight I think I came up with:

Trusting God is knowing Who He says He is, and believing it even when it doesn't look true in my circumstances. "Let God be true and every man a liar."

So it may feel like He is far away, or uninterested... it may seem like He isn't answering... but I can know that God is not a man that He should lie.

This is another of my "not quite refined" thoughts, but I wanted to jot it down and see what comes of it later.

Roll Call

Since sleep isn't going to happen anyway...
I'll write down some thoughts. :)
Post 1???

The new roll call
Ysabella Olysea
Moriah Janae`
Nathaniel David
Aliyah Miechelle
Brianna Joylinn
Karissa Renee`

:D
We made it to picking *before* she was born!!! Yea!

Of Dishes and Dusting

I was reminded today, while washing dishes, that instead of drudging through this seemingly endless task (and all the others in the life of housewives,) I should rejoice and give thanks for the blessings they represent. Those blessings, albeit disguised in mess, are: first, that we have food; second, we have the dishes themselves; and, most importantly, each represent a very special blessing... my family.
Maybe I should thank the Lord for each person the dish represents as I wash, and each full tummy, and the bounty He has provided. Maybe I could also pray for each precious-to-the-Lord person that doesn't have a full tummy, or a dish to eat from, or a place to call home.

Ephesians 5:¹⁹ Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, ²⁰ always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Colossians 3:²³ Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, ²⁴ since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.

Sermons We See

by Edgar Guest

I'd rather see a sermon
than hear one any day;
I'd rather one should walk with me
than merely tell the way.

The eye's a better pupil
and more willing than the ear,
Fine counsel is confusing,
but example's always clear;

And the best of all the preachers
are the men who live their creeds,
For to see good put in action
is what everybody needs.

I soon can learn to do it
if you'll let me see it done;
I can watch your hands in action,
but your tongue too fast may run.

And the lecture you deliver
may be very wise and true,
But I'd rather get my lessons
by observing what you do;

For I might misunderstand you
and the high advice you give,
But there's no misunderstanding
how you act and how you live.

When I see a deed of kindness,
I am eager to be kind.
When a weaker brother stumbles
and a strong man stays behind

Just to see if he can help him,
then the wish grows strong in me
To become as big and thoughtful
as I know that friend to be.

And all travelers can witness
that the best of guides today
Is not the one who tells them,
but the one who shows the way.

One good man teaches many,
men believe what they behold;
One deed of kindness noticed
is worth forty that are told.

Who stands with men of honor
learns to hold his honor dear,
For right living speaks a language
which to every one is clear.

Though an able speaker charms me
with his eloquence, I say,
I'd rather see a sermon
than to hear one, any day.

(a longer version than I have seen before)

funny to me

We bought a new set of funnels for the kitchen today. Nothing really special, just plastic funnels... the only ones that they had at the store.
When we went to take off the little sticker package thingy, Honey noticed it said
Made in USA
He said "Usa. [pronounce like Spanish for Use] That must be a town in China."

Anyway, I laughed. :)

Philippians 4:11B-14
"I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. ¹²I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. ¹³I can do everything through him who gives me strength."

So many times I consider this verse and think about how I need to be more content in every circumstance. Then tonight it came to me afresh:
"I have learned"
Paul didn't know it at first, he learned it! (I know... Duh!)
He suffered need, hunger and want.
He experienced plenty and fulfillment.

Often as I look back at hard times I have had, I kick myself for not "going through it" contented and "in victory," yet these times were new to me, and the Lord was teaching me... if I had gone through them right away as though I can do all things... I may have begun to believe that I am who can do it and not through Christ alone! I am loathsomely prideful at times... it could have been worse to be victorious and like Moses and Aaron claim the victory as mine. For this Moses and Aaron could not enter the earthly Promised Land!

SO I am learning to be content whatever the circumstances.
:)


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"Therefore, encourage one another and build each other up!"

Reminding me

I believe:

God is Good all the time.

His plan is the only right plan.

Hard times will come to everyone, they are a time to seek His refuge.

In my weakness He is Strong.

My life, breath, being is in Him; likewise for my husband, kids, family and friends... I only need trust Him to have the best plan... see above.

When all else fails, revert to the top.

A Friend

What she doesn't need:
Your advice on:

• What she should do
• What she should think
• What she should feel

What she does need:
Your:

• Listening ear
• Time
• Acknowledgment of her, and her thoughts and feelings
• Acceptance
• Encouragement

Very Rarely she needs:

• A call to be godly

What do you say?

Today someone noticing my prego belly and 5 kids in tow asked,
"So this is number 6?"
Innocent enough. I only said, "Yes."

But in my head I was thinking.
"Well actually, this one's not mine to hold yet.
And this one is number 9."

I can't actually say that to most people.
It would be shocking and perhaps depressing for them...
Yet I really hate *not* counting "the others."

It was "too early" for many to "count" them. But when is the right time to start???

Not counting them makes me feel like they didn't matter to me. But they do. They matter to God, Whose Arms they went straight to, and they will always "count" to me.

I guess some things are better left unsaid for the safety of others.

You're never too young???

Tonight Ysa, my 10 1/2 year old, told me about some plans she is making...
for her funeral! :O
She was just thinking about when she will die, and decided she wants to be laid to rest with a cross in one hand and a bible in the other with her arms across her chest in the sign "love."

Needless to say I was taken aback with her planning for *that* future! But her concept is pretty in it's own morbid way. The cross that has saved her, the Word of God and Love.

She also said she wants to die praying and worshiping, not doing something worldly and useless!

Reminds me I need not hold too tightly to what is God's. She is not mine, she's His.

If ever you needed to know where your issues lie.....

Look to your children!

Amazing how much of our own sinful, horrid nature we can see in the little replicas of mom and dad running about the house!
I re-read my last post and thought... man! I am always working in the same areas! I sure hope there's been some progress along the way!!! And I guess that brings me back to the kids...
How many times have you had to say "Wash your hands after using the bathroom." or "Don't touch that! It could hurt you!" to your kid before they just did what was right?
Once? No? Well, twice then? hmm guess not...
I guess as God's child He can keep working on the same thing as long as it takes me to get it! and as usual He is much more understanding and patient with me than I am.

Tonight I heard one of my kids yell at another... I know that's not shocking, being kids, but it was the way it was done. Ouch! That sounded like me lately! :\ I could tell God was poking my conscience and saying, you know... We may need to work on that a bit, huh.
So that will have to be my latest project... listening closely to myself, and keeping my mouth shut.

My Grace is sufficient

I was doing a little introspecting earlier... I know, that's not news...

Why is it we give others more grace than we do ourselves?
It seems there are either those who give no grace to others because they are giving all of it to themselves, to the point of not seeing their sin....
or there's those that find all the grace for others, but offer themselves little to none.
Why?

Why do I have the hardest time forgiving myself or allowing myself to make mistakes?

What that really does is say to God, "Your grace really isn't enough for me... I'm not able to show me Your grace..."
1 Corinthians 12:9 "But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you...."

Lord, Let me be Thy handmaiden, Acceptance with Joy!