Today someone noticing my prego belly and 5 kids in tow asked,
"So this is number 6?"
Innocent enough. I only said, "Yes."
But in my head I was thinking.
"Well actually, this one's not mine to hold yet.
And this one is number 9."
I can't actually say that to most people.
It would be shocking and perhaps depressing for them...
Yet I really hate *not* counting "the others."
It was "too early" for many to "count" them. But when is the right time to start???
Not counting them makes me feel like they didn't matter to me. But they do. They matter to God, Whose Arms they went straight to, and they will always "count" to me.
I guess some things are better left unsaid for the safety of others.