Tuesday, July 29, 2008

The heart of God

Disclaimer: I'm not assuming to speak in God's place. Just sharing what was on my heart.

It has been on my heart to teach my children to recognize their emotions as a gift from God. He gave us joy. He gave us the outlet of tears. He gave us anger. He gives us peace. We are to use our emotions and all His gifts to us to His glory.

So "be angry and sin not." Not 'do not be angry.'
We read today of Saul's first battle, in 1st Samuel. "Then the Spirit of God came upon Saul when he heard this news, and his anger was greatly aroused."
Later we read of David, and Jesus having righteous anger. The key word being righteous, as well as not sinning in this anger.

Of course, there are other emotions to cover.

I have mentioned my friend going through a tough time, another friend is grieving the loss of her father. With them, something in me cries. Sometimes, all of me cries. I often chasten myself for being nosy and too involved in others business, but I do truly feel the pain. Certainly not what they feel, but my heart aches for theirs.
It occurred to me today, that God has that too. **Probably not the nosy, busy body feeling. ;-)** He has compassion on us and comforts us in our hurting. Why in the world did Jesus cry at Lazarus' tomb, when He knew he would be raised in a short time!?! Because He felt for Martha and Mary, in their distress and anguish.

We can share in others joy! The wonderful announcement of another life born. Created for an eternity of glory with God, and yet such a small being, spinning on a ball in a vast universe! Awe inspiring and joyful! And I have never even met them. I read her blog yesterday for the first time, but God knows intimately their goings out and their comings in.

To me all of this culminates as an inspiration of who God is. Who created everything from nothing! He created things majestic and microscopic, things beautiful and curious. He created us in His image, so some of our traits are His. We are Body, Mind and Soul, He is Father, Son and Holy Spirit. We are in all of our body at one time, yet not one part of our body can be defined as containing all of us. My hand is my hand, but I am not my hand. God is present everywhere, all the time, yet no place can contain Him, that we can say 'here is God.'
Our emotions, I believe, we share with God. He is "a jealous God." "He is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger (but He does get angry) and abounding in love." He is merciful, and forgiving.
I could be wrong. However, I think that the Lord has been teaching my heart to use the emotions He gave me to Bless the Lord and those He has placed in my life.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Pondering

Sometimes I think back on life and how much things can change in so short a time! If I sound really **nostalgically** old, it's cause it's almost my birthday and I have a tendency to reflect back on what has changed.

10 years ago, I was so very different! I often wonder if some of my dearest friends now, would have wanted anything to do with me then! (apart from a ministry role)

9 years ago I was pregnant with my Ysabella, our oldest. I was a far cry from living for God, but thankfully I was saved by grace! As our pastor would say, I was "going to heaven, but with singed underwear!"

8 years ago I really started on the journey of Surrender. From there forward it gets a lot better, and that's sad to say, as I continue to look forward from here and see how much more I need changed!!!!! :\

On other notes... We have been changing a lot around here too. Highlights of which....
Our Suburban is being sold, and we have bought a newer Van! Air conditioning is really cool! (sorry that's puny)
We have been packing things to move, which will hopefully be before 2009!
We have 2 in full school mode, a first for us. And 2 who love to join in with everything! One more is doing well and has a name!!!
Brianna Joylinn will be joining us on the outside sometime in the latter part of September, begining of October!

No matter what changes may come, I think I'm glad that they do come. I don't think 9 or 10 years ago I would've "wanted" some of the changes we've gone through *there may be more to come I'm not especially fond of having* yet knowing where God has brought us.... so far in so short a time.... I think I'm glad change does come.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Let the nesting begin

Well, I think that I have started the nesting phase of this pregnancy. It's nice and it's not. ;0)

I feel tired, but there is something compelling me to scrub the bathtub, toilet and bathroom floor. To vaccume, clean all the glass sides of our tanks (fish and turtle), to wash the shower curtains, scrub the bathroom stool and clean the toilet scrubber holder.... maybe a little over the top.
The dishes are clean, the laundry is off the line, and put away, we did school... I feel accomplished, but somehow, not done.

I think, since I am tired, I should reign in the compulsive cleaning for the day. Rest is important too.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Lazy Blogger

Today as I perused the blogs I keep up with, and noticed some people hadn't posted in a while, it then dawned on me that I haven't posted in a while....ahem.... a lot longer than any of the other blogs I read. **guilty laugh**

Not that I haven't thought of several things to post, I've just been too lazy or busy to do it.

Here goes some rambling of things I've thought of blogging over the last, hmmmmmmm, month or so.

Before we were taking our little Aliyah for her last tests, I was sitting outside watching my kids play in the front yard. Watching my son I thought of how he sometimes gets so frustrated that something isn't working out just right and I often wait for him to figure it out on his own. I allow the trial and sometimes failure for him to learn. I thought of this awhile and felt that maybe God also allows us to sometimes go through things and even fail to learn more about Him and be stronger in the end.

I watched Aliyah play. I felt that wondering at how God creates life from such little things, and what they become.
With her tests looming and uncertainty in my mind, I had a chance to see her figuring out the world. Enjoying the simple pleasures of summer and playing in the sprinkler. I felt touched with the thought that all that care and welling up of emotion I could feel for her, was so small a thing compared to the love God has for her! I felt the uncertainty vanishing, and the presence of God in the warm sun and gentle breeze. It is sufficient to rest in His grace. If only we will Be Still and know. Had I been "being productive" I would've missed those wonderful moments of quiet assurance, and I really needed that more than clean dishes!

The other day a dear friend and I were discussing prayer requests, and she mentioned her need to let go of somethings, she doesn't know what, but they are causing her physical symptoms. This is a struggle for my control freakish nature too. I keep reminding myself 'today has enough trouble, I need not borrow any from tomorrow.' Later that night as I was reflecting on my own need to surrender all and praying for hers. As I lay there, I realized that all means all, every. When we surrender all we hold nothing back. Wow. I thought, and decided that because of it's very nature this must be a repetitive action! So I sang the hymn I Surrender All and prayed that I would truly surrender all -- acknowledging that even that must be surrendered as with out help, I can't even get that far.

A neat God's timing story came about recently as my mom had to travel for work. She had been aggravated by the constant postponing of the class she needed to take, and not knowing when she'd need to be gone. However, when finally the plans were made ready, it turns out that the Lord had provided that her best friend was going to be visiting the same state and area where my mom went during the same time. Being that they live on separate sides of the country all the time, it was a wonder how they "happened" to be going to a different state during the same 2 week period, for different reasons. She was able to meet up with her best friend, have a companion, and do some fun things before her class started. They had fun visiting the Creation Museum and catching up. We marveled at how God provides, not only for the needs, but some of the smallest desires. He saw fit to allow the postponing for such a time as this, that they got to enjoy.

Any of the other witty nonsense I came up with, has been lost in the condition called pregnant brain. But hopefully this gives some reflections that point in the direction of God for my fellow pilgrims.