Thursday, January 27, 2011

tornado of the mind

I have so many mixed emotions today.
Sadness, Joy, Expectation, Love, Hurt all mixed up... and so many thoughts to go with them.

10 years ago today, my daddy went to be with Jesus. I'm so filled with Joy that he is there; he is whole; he is free from this world and his struggles; I will see him again. So Sad that I have lost an important man in my life, before so much of my life could happen; that my sister hasn't had him there, even for her wedding; that my kids will only know of him, not know him; missing him.

6 years ago today I let go of the hope that would've been our child in the late summer of that year. I was so hurt at the idea of loosing on this day, why this day; but it has been a blessing to me to have one day to mourn and not two. I am glad God always knows better!!!

I have love for them, hope that one day we will be together, and hurt at having lost their presence in my life for now.
I don't even know I can express in words what today has felt like, but bittersweet seems to be one of my favorites. I'm not going to pretend to be where I'm not. I'm not just fine, but I'm not overwhelmed. I do not mourn like those who have no hope, but I do mourn. I've had my moments, and not when or where I expected them.

Now I don't even know how to end my post... nor what I really wanted to say.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

The Malachi 3:10 Principle

"Test me in this,” says the LORD Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it. "

Try to out give God....
It'll NEVER work!!!

I wasn't exactly trying to out give Him, but I had been talking with my children about this principle of generosity recently, then had the opportunity to give to another family in need. We collected some clothing of a needed size we could quite easily share... didn't even put a dent into the store we have already been blessed with. We collected a few other things and I was touched by the giving spirit some of my children displayed!
We took them to drop them off on our way to another friend's house to visit & drop stuff off... 15 minutes between the 2 stops. When we arrived at the second stop, my friend informed me she had some clothes for us in the exact size we just dropped off!!! Literally TWICE the amount I had just left 15 minutes earlier!!!!
As I marveled at God's display to my husband and children, I joked about how God doubled our gift and how we could never out give Him!
That was Friday... on Sunday, just for fun ;), He gave us another store of clothes of about double the amount we gave AND had someone else tell us they have clothes for us!!!

We now have the ability to give to other families again with the abundance He has blessed us!
Know that God's word is true always!