Wednesday, January 27, 2010

My Son ~ Imagine This

When Billy had just turned eight
He was all alone in a boat
By his house on the lake
He laid back as he closed his eyes
And he drifted off to sleep
He awoke to the sound of crashing waves
His boat was a million miles away
And just when he thought he'd seen the end
He heard his father's voice again, he said...

Son just take my hand
Rest your feet on solid land
Keep your eyes laid on me
Don't be swayed by the sea
And I will lead you home

You know that I live for You
But sometimes I get caught in the storm
And I fall
You know when I'm in that boat
And the world comes seeping in
Sometimes I start sinking in the sea
Sometimes I'm in way too deep for me
Sometimes when I'm crying out for fear
I hear You whisper in my ear, You say...

Son just take my hand
Rest your feet on solid land
Keep your eyes laid on me
Don't be swayed by the sea
And I will lead you home

Sang this to m' Daddy when he was sick. He was pretty sure this was gonna be it, but it was rough. Imagine his little girl (not yet 16 years old) with out her daddy so young. It was the only thing "holding him back," he so wanted to "go home." I cried through it, and only knew the second verse and chorus, but he liked it anyway. Told me how ready he was to be safely on the other shore, and shared with me his longing to be here with Jodi still.

She and I sang to him together, well, sorta, as it was after he had already gone home.
"Some glad morning when this life is o're, I'll fly away. To a home on God's celestial shore, I'll fly away."


Tenderness ~ All Star United

Hush baby, don't cry
Just try to remember the time
When all your pitfalls and fears
Became mine

And when we fall apart
Just one thing takes me back to the start

Put my heart to rest
Your tenderness
Hits me to the bone
When my head's a mess
Your tenderness
Keeps me coming home

Hush baby, don't cry
This rings in my head all the time
And still
I tend to forget your words

When I'm the swan in my full dive
Just one thing keeps me alive

Repeat chorus

And so it seems to me
To all of us here
The answer is clear
That you need a little less stress
And some more tenderness.

Repeat chorus

Higher Calling

It occurs to me, that there is no higher calling than that to which God has called you.
No matter who you are, as long as you seek to honor God in what you do, it is the high calling for you. Whether the task is noble or ignoble matters not; for not every vessel is for noble purposes, but some for common, ordinary uses.

Diapers and dishes, laundry and learning may not be the "sold out," "on fire" servant I sometimes imagine I am supposed to be, but it is where He has placed me.

And that is really the only thing that matters.
To be in the center of God's will.

"Here am I, thy hand maiden, Acceptance-with-Joy" ~Let it be.~

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Lessons from the Seasons : Winter

As I mentioned in my first outline, winter is a time to "Be still and know"

While that sounds really restful (and a little abstract,) there is work going on in it.
During the winter months, as plants cease from the work of growing, maturing and producing fruit, they take on a different work..... the roots grow deeper.
I see in this analogy, that as we rest and wait on the Lord, we will grow more firm in our foundation. This has been true in my experience, though it can mostly be seen in hind sight.
Some of the most difficult times in my life became forced winters; and all I could do was be still. And it is during those same times that I grew so much more than during the easier days of springs and summers.
It brings to mind that it is not our working that does great things, but God's working in us.
"He who began a good work in you, will carry it on to completion."

Those dark and sometimes gloomy days can, in future times, be a beautiful reminder of His care and grace. My desperate moments when all I could do was cry, not even "cry out" just cry, are the times when I was upheld, and closest to my Lord.

Winters don't seem to be sweet times, like autumns. They have beauty all their own, yet they can contain some real difficulties. Maybe if I took time to "be still and know" when it wasn't out of sheer inability to do anything else, then I wouldn't see them this way. ;) But this has been my experience.

Lessons from the Seasons : Autumn

So I didn't take the time to write up Autumn's lessons during Autumn, but that maybe because it is a very busy season ;)

Autumn is In Gathering time. The time when the maturing of summer turns out the fruits for harvesting. :D

For me this period always seems shorter than the time spent producing the fruit!
Months or years can go into a harvest. Some trees wont bear fruit for 7 years. Lilacs wont flower for about that long. Yet the blossoms only last a matter of weeks, once a year, with the right conditions.
I seem to be like that. Lots of work goes into maturing, lots into pruning, and caring for young fruit; but the harvest is good, even if it is the shorter part.

Lately I have reaped the benefit from years of working on certain areas by the affirmation and encouragement of other saints.

Autumn is also time to prepare for winter, and do trimming. You can mulch or fertilize, to enrich soil and help it through the days ahead. This is probably a good time to have a retreat or just a small time for only you and God to get together with fewer distractions.

(Once again, these are just the beginning of ideas that were forming in my head last spring (; )

Monday, January 25, 2010

The Blues ~ Switchfoot

The Blues

Is this the New Year or just another night?
Is this the new fear or just another fright?
Is this the new tear or just another desperation?

Is this the finger or just another fist?
Is this the kingdom or just a hit and miss?
I miss direction most in all this desperation

Is this what they call freedom?
Is this what you call pain?
Is this what they call discontented fame?

It'll be a day like this one
When the world caves in
When the world caves in
When the world caves in

I'm singing this one like a broken piece of glass
From broken hearts and broken noses in the back
Is this the New Year or just another desperation?

You're pushing till you're shoving
You bend until you break
Do you stand on the broken fields where our fathers lay

It'll be a day like this one
When the world caves in
When the world caves in
When the world caves in
When the world caves in
When the world caves in
When the world caves in

Is there's nothing here worth saving,
Is no one here at all?
Is there any net left that could break our fall?

It'll be a day like this one
When the sky falls down and the hungry and poor and deserted are found
Are you discontented? Have you been pushing hard?
Have you been throwing down this broken house of cards?

It'll be a day like this one
When the world caves in
When the world caves in
When the world caves in

Is there nothing left now?
Nothing left to sing
Are there any left who haven't kissed the enemy?
Is this the New Year or just another desperation?

Does justice never find you? Do the wicked never lose?
Is there any honest song to sing besides these blues?

And nothing is okay
Till the world caves in
Till the world caves in
Till the world caves in
Till the world caves in
Till the world caves in
Until the world caves in
Until the world caves in
Until the world caves in
Until the world caves in
Until the world caves in
Until the world caves in

What's in a day?

I've noticed some patterns in my life that strike me as odd. How is it that these things line up? Do I make associations that really aren't connected? Well, maybe sometimes, but others there's just no way I could make it happen.

This is a hard week. I knew it would be. It really does feel bitter and sweet, an almost indescribable sort of pang, but at least it isn't overwhelming.

Wednesday it will be 9 years since my daddy died of cancer. I miss him, but I'm soooo glad he isn't here suffering through this life! The odd correlations here are that it will also be the 5th anniversary of the loss of a pregnancy; and that my Uncle died yesterday with a very similar story. Aggressive cancer found too late, very short hospice, dies within 3 days of when my dad did.
It's all culminating in my Blues.

This baby was due 9-9-05; and as it would turn out we were having a D&C that day for the second miscarriage of that year. Another oddity.

Maybe I'm too nostalgic. I really shouldn't live in the past. I try not to, but every so often, I'm stuck there for awhile. Maybe it's part of the "processing" we are supposed to have to do. Or maybe I'm just a dork.

Reminiscing can be may remember things you were glad you forgot.


Had fun today with vocabulary.
Catharsis has been a favorite word of mine lately, usually used as cathartic, but it's the same ;)

Mo's reading had a few words she didn't know so we used that to continue our learning about alphabetizing and dictionary use.
Talkative was one of her words, and it was defined with another of my favorite self descriptions "loquacious;" so we talked about Mommy being loquacious and Daddy being taciturn.

Looking up taciturn then, we read all of the definitions and used them in sentences about ourselves.

I used several words including reticent, and garrulous and Mo replied with "Yeah, Daddy can be uncommunicative." ;)

I was excited, but maybe I'm easy to impress