The Divine Frying Pan

Do you remember cartoon characters chasing each other with frying pans? The idea of needing to hit someone over the head with something to get it to stick always reminds me of them.

Sometimes I think I am in need of God's Divine Frying Pan to smack the sense into me!
This surrender issue, is the heart of most of my issues in life. I once again have visited the anxious part of myself and had a revelation.

There I was in Walmart...(where all great thinking is done) catching up with some friends who are trying to leave for the mission field soon, when out of my mouth come anxious words I didn't know were in my heart until then.
"Under the current administration, we may be out of a job at some point soon." :O There was a meeting at work that day.... I was thinking somewhere inside of me that it may be lay offs (which the company had just announced 700 layoffs in another area) and I was unaware that it was even there until I suddenly said it to them!
Thankfully we have recently memorized Philippians 4:6-7 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the Peace of God which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." (Please forgive the punctuation...I didn't memorize that! (0; ) The Spirit spoke that out of my mouth directly after the above confession. I'd almost say regurgitated is the best description. LOL. So after all that, I keep going..."God knows we will feel anxious at times, but gives us the instructions, go to God in prayer and He will help you not to be anxious." It seems so simple, and yet for me it was so profound! I'm still thanking Him for bringing that to me!

There have been lots of those moments, of needing to remember not to be anxious. It's tough to learn a new trait.
Psalm 116
5The LORD is gracious and righteous; our God is full of compassion.

⁶ The LORD protects the simplehearted; when I was in great need, he saved me.

⁷ Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the LORD has been good to you.

¹⁶ O LORD, truly I am your servant; I am your servant, the son of your maidservant, you have freed me from my chains.

¹⁷ I will sacrifice a thank offering to you and call on the name of the LORD.

¹⁸ I will fulfill my vows to the LORD in the presence of all his people,

¹⁹ in the courts of the house of the LORD— in your midst, O Jerusalem.
Praise the LORD.

To catch a Pumpkin

Today the "bigs" have been playing hide and seek with Aliyah being "it"

Tonight, as I relax on the sofa nursing Brianna; Aliyah sits beside me "reading" a book. I notice on the other side of the room a very strange occurrence. A baby doll, attached by a shoelace to a hanger is bobbing up and down repeatedly in the doorway.
**Imagine the carrot on the end of a stick.**
It continues a while as I hear muffled laughs and snorts from the culprits.

Apparently, they were "baiting" her to come and play again! Unfortunately, it did not manage to get her attention. Maybe they should've made crying sounds to go with it?

I found it hilarious, but you may have had to be there.

Lessons from the Seasons : Spring

As I attempt to do all the Spring cleaning and chores that I need to get done, I've been feeling a lesson building up, that I thought I'd share.

We have 15 fruit trees, 13 other trees, several Yucca and roses, and plans for a veggie garden.
The trees have needed some proper pruning for about a decade, so it is a lot of work. The first one I did took 2 days with an hour to two hours invested each day! just on the cutting.

As I am out there in God's beautiful handiwork, watching the bees pollinate the plum tree as I decide which branch to cut and which to leave, my heart thought of the different work of the different seasons.
Ecclesiastes 3:1
^"1To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven."

Spring is a time of new growth, and lots of it... which is about where I've been feeling I am in life, right now. The trees are putting out new buds and branches in every direction, and where they are good things to have, not all of them are growing in a good direction. And too many aren't good either. So I cut away unnecessary growth, and choose the best ones in the right directions to leave to grow.
I've been praying as I do for God's direction in how things should be; and then the thought came that God's wisdom is needed for the direction of my new growth too. Maybe there's too much going on and I need to thin out, or maybe some things are growing in a direction that wont be best. He knows and will help me to thin and grow in the ways He sees best.

The other seasons aren't as developed in my head as spring is since it has been shown to me recently, but here is a brief idea. I'll continue searching.
Summer is a time for maturing and bearing fruit.
Fall is the season of harvesting and reaping what you've sown.
Winter is the time to "Be still and know."

I think I happen to be in a spring time in my life during spring this year, but that you can be in any of the spiritual seasons regardless of the climate. ;0)

Everyone wants to go to Heaven

Ok I know I haven't blogged for awhile, then crank out 3 in one sitting. Kinda goofy, but what else would you expect from me? :-P
I've had several thoughts I've wanted to share here, then by the time I get here, it's all gone! Gotta work while I can remember. :-D

So Heaven. Everyone wants to go there right. Well I've started to wonder.... why?
You hear people who want to go there because they don't want to go to hell.
Because Dad, Grandma, my kitten, whoever is there.
Because they don't believe there's anywhere else to go.
Because it's supposed to be a really great place where the list of adverse things I don't like are gone....forever.

But I wonder, isn't there really only one reason to truly want to go?
To be with God.

As I thought of this an analogy came to my mind.
Suppose someone said they want to come to your house, but only because they really don't want to go to jail. or because someone else is going to be there that they want to see. or because you have really great food and your house is amazing.
Do you really want that person, who obviously doesn't care about you, to come to your house?

What is our attitude about it? Are we in it to avoid negative consequences? To see someone we knew here on earth and loved? Do we love God for "His stuff?"
Let that not be true!
Let us love God who loved us so much to leave His heavenly throne to die to bring us to Himself!!! And let us desire to be in His presence eternally.

When my kids talk about going to heaven and seeing each other there, I tell them. "You know, when we are there in the very presence of God, I don't think we'll care about much else. Yes, I'll be there, you'll be there, but the most important of all God is there!"

Mine Ebenezer

"Ebenezer" is the name Samuel gave a memorial stone, saying "Hitherto hath the Lord helped us" (1 Sam. 7:1-12)

Like Much Afraid in Hind's Feet on High Places, I have my memorial stones; though unlike Samuel I haven't named any... yet.
I've been feeling the need to "raise mine Ebenezer" lately. I have been moving forward toward the prize at a faster pace for a few months, and I feel that "hither by Thy help I'm come." Everything truly does seem to be "working together," which I know it always has and yet seems so much more really happening. Everything pointing in the same direction, in all areas of my life, to bring me closer and closer to Him.

So Here I raise mine Ebenezer. My memorial blog, carved out somewhere (lost) in cyberspace.
For Hitherto hath the Lord helped me overcome myself.

Amusing (to me)

Last night Ysa decided to repeat everything I say. This is a new game.... one I don't care much for.
So she hears me tell hubby that I will "show her what it's like on the receiving end" and she thinks that will be cool.
So tonight she asks to "play" the game again.

I repeat what she says. When she starts to ask me questions she really wanted an answer to, I simply repeat her question. I repeat her laughs, snorts and chortles. I'm thinking that I'm pretty annoying, but that doesn't quell her fun.
She starts replying to her questions for me.
Ysa: "Mommy is this fun?" I: repeat
Ysa: "Yes Ysa. This is fun. We should do it every night" I: repeat

So after we do that a few times she really thinks she's got it...
Ysa: "Hey Ysa. We should go eat all the candy canes in the candy cane holder!"

That's about where I tackled her with tickles until she couldn't talk any more.
This may be the best option for stopping the parrot game.

Pride, goeth!

I struggle with issues of pride.
Please don't send me messages saying you don't think I'm prideful, this only adds to it!
It seems even when I try to be less prideful I find I am only more self focused trying to fix it! **Arg**

I may be defining more things as pride than are technically considered pride. But arrogance, conceit, vanity, disdain of others, inordinate self-esteem are all synonymous with pride, so I don't think I'm stretching the definition too far. Being self focused, IMO, is pride.

Straight from www.merriam-webster.com
synonyms proud , arrogant , haughty , lordly , insolent , overbearing , supercilious , disdainful mean showing scorn for inferiors. proud may suggest an assumed superiority or loftiness. arrogant implies a claiming for oneself of more consideration or importance than is warranted . haughty suggests a consciousness of superior birth or position <haughty aristocrat>. lordly implies pomposity or an arrogant display of power <lordly condescension>. insolent implies contemptuous haughtiness . overbearing suggests a tyrannical manner or an intolerable insolence <overbearing supervisor>. supercilious implies a cool, patronizing haughtiness . disdainful suggests a more active and openly scornful superciliousness <disdainful of their social inferiors>.

Any time I question God, really I'm showing arrogance. Who am I to think He should have to answer to me?

Needing to be right or to correct someone else; the need to be understood; the need to have the last word; a "my rights" attitude; all prideful behaviors.

What about those times when you find someone else's company a little "beneath" your IQ? Conceit. And, after all, your IQ wont get you to Heaven!
I was recently in this position at a fellowship, when the Spirit smote me:
1 Samuel 16:7

7 But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

I thought again and said, in matters of the Spirit, I am far less mature!

James 4:6; 1 Peter 5:5; Prov.3:34 :
"God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble."

Now check out these definitions of humble:
1: not proud or haughty : not arrogant or assertive
2: reflecting, expressing, or offered in a spirit of deference or submission <humble apology>
There it is again that word submission, or as I often use it, surrender.

I decided to share this all here (for all three of you who read it) because pride loves to have others only see the good, presentable side. If pride is to be slain, he must first be stripped of his power. (Mark 3:27...sort of)

A message from my heart

Last week, I read a news article that broke my heart. A sweet little toddler had been beaten to death by her mom and step dad. She had even reached up and said "I love you, Mommy." and I couldn't even finish the article I was too overwhelmed....

It came to me that the Lord was grieved also, that His compassion for her was far greater than mine and that my compassion was a gift from Him. Then as I was thinking how those responsible for her death should be beaten to death; it occurred to me that my sins also deserve death! That the Lord feels compassion for them so much so that He died a horrible death, and that they really need to know that forgiveness. The only thing separating me from them was Jesus' forgiveness.

So I thought I had two special messages from the Lord and that I should share them with you.

One, we cannot fathom how wide and high and long and deep is the love of God; that He is of tenderest compassion. The other, that each person, regardless of our view of them, is precious to Him; so much so that He died to save them! A truth I sometimes need reminding of.

Tis greater to give

Campus Crusade for Christ is requesting our help to feed orphan children in Zimbabwe.
They have the food, they just need to ship it there, and that's what a donation can help.
10 cents ships a meal.
How many dimes do you have lying around?

When I challenged my kids, they ransacked their change jars and bear banks and came up with
515 meals!
They can't wait to change the lives of those kids with hope, and the food they need for body and soul!
You can give online here.
Or by mail to:
Campus Crusade for Christ
PO Box 628222
Orlando, FL 32832

"Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world." James 1:27

Signs of strength or of weakness

Many of my friends know that I don't eat chocolate.
Some find this to be a strength, will power or discipline.

As I was talking with Ysa yesterday though, I suddenly had an epiphany.
It is no sign of strength, but a sign of weakness.

I do absolutely NO chocolate because I cannot do moderation.
All things in moderation.... for me that does not include chocolate!

So since I cannot discipline myself to only do a little, I do none.
It really is easier, for me.
And thus, I find it to be a weakness.

Wherever I go...... there I am

Not exactly profound.

Just a little rant about mirrors.
I've never been overly fond of them; at our last home we only had the small medicine cabinet mirror.
Here however, I can't escape them... in my room anyway.
Both closets have double sliding mirror doors, the chest of drawers has a large mirror on it, the dresser has a small mirror on it, and there's a standing mirror (was my hubby's growing up) up against the wall facing one of the closets. Then there are two more in the master bath.
Just about anywhere in here I see me, sometimes multiples of me! It's really weird to see every move you make. A couple of times I have turned away from one only to be facing another, and with more than one side of me showing at the same time! ugh.

I'm sure I'll get used to it with time.

Two Months Already!

Brianna is two months old today.
Wow.
It really makes me wonder how time can fly by and stand still all at the same time!

She saw her Dr for her 2 month check today.
All is well. She has had a small cold courtesy of her siblings, but that aside she's a healthy little sweetie!
She is now 10 lbs. 15 oz. and 23 1/2 inches long.
That's 4lbs 5 oz. gained in the last 2 months!
Her face is rounding out quite a bit, but not too much of that has touched her thighs ;0)

meant for you (and me)

In our Sunday School class we have been covering the book of John.
On our first Sunday being back after Brianna's birth, we covered John 16. Verse 21 struck me.
I had repeated it to myself (sometimes aloud) during labor.

"A woman, when she is in labor, has sorrow because her hour has come; but as soon as she has given birth to the child, she no longer remembers the anguish, for the joy that a human being has been born into the world."

Like I said, I was reminding myself of it over and over.... "we're almost through"....." you wont remember this part when it's over".......

Then when we were in class and we read it, I got to thinking.
Jesus is talking to his disciples....men!.... and he is using a birth analogy.
For me this meant one important truth.
This passage was a statement for me! (and maybe you too (0; )
All of the bible is really God's love letter to His children, so it shouldn't be surprising to have something that seemed to be spoken directly to me. A wonderful reminder for me though that the Living Word is true "yesterday, today and tomorrow" as true for me here and now as it was for the disciples then.

But I do kind of wonder how much head scratching was done when Jesus spoke these things to these men. ;)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Couldn't resist linking this one up for the blog and share too. ;)

The potty song

Aliyah was not feeling so well about a week ago, and I took her into the doctor to see what was up.
With her history we often check on the kidneys whenever there is a tummy trouble, to rule out any kidney issues.

So since it was late on a Friday, we didn't get her pee pee in the bag in good time.
The following Wednesday she had her ultrasound anyway, so trying to get everything done in one trip, I put her new bag on before we left. That was sometime around 11AM.
The ultrasound was at 1PM and still an empty bag, but we saw a full bladder on the screen soooo any time now...right?
Nope.
So we traveled to the other side of town to the doctor's area..... nothin'
We went to WalMart to kill time. Still no pee pee.
Off we go to the Drs bathroom to try for some inspiration.
There she tells me if I take the "sticker" (the bag) off she'll go in the potty. (and the cup)
After trying this for some time, I gave up entirely!

Fast forward to the next morning.
A sweet little Aliyah face peeks over the bed with her usual wake up call.
Then she sits comfortably next to the bed to play and sing.
"I not pee in da bag" she sings.....
LOL
I couldn't believe she was singing about that silly bag and her will to avoid using it!
One battle I'm not going to fight.

*W*I*N*

No this isn't just my competitive nature rearing it's ugly head....
it's an acronym for What's Important Now.

I've been thinking about this a lot.
What is most important for this moment.
For daily and weekly tasks this can be as simple as it's time to get dinner ready or plan the center piece for Saturday's Boutique.

Even bigger though is this place in history.
With everything that's going on around us I am reminded that we are only here temporarily. I need to be "about my Father's business" continually.
That's always been true, but I am one of those people who need reminders about WIN.

Anyway, just wanted to share.

My life as a ping pong ball

I wrote a while back about change being ok by me, most change anyway.

Lately, I've started to feel like change would be pretty nice if it slowed down a little. Soooo many changes in such a short time leaves me feeling a bit like a ping pong ball. Always being smacked back and forth with no real break in between.

Along with all the changes I've mentioned in recent blogs, we have had changes in my hubby's work schedule too. In February he changed "temporarily" to second shift; in September the hours of that shift were changed to 2 hours earlier. Now we are changing to days again, but it may only be for a couple of weeks. I've changed bed times, meal times, school times, etc. twice already in the last 8 to 9 months, it will be changing back again starting Monday.
We have looked forward to changing back to days, but I don't like the indefinate part of this change. I know nothing lasts forever and all, but I'd like to know a ball park figure on the duration of this one.

Ahhhhh, there I go again being a stick in the mud.

Me? Hard headed?

Sometimes I really think so.

I've been blogging for about 3 years, and thinking/looking back I have the same issue cropping up. Surrender.


Why does it keep coming up?

Am I so hard headed that I don't learn?

Or (my preference) is God so gracious that he is teaching me slowly a deeper and deeper meaning of letting go?



Once again I find myself needing to just give it up to Him and not take it back. He is working something; I can feel it.... but I wonder how much it will hurt.
Does silver in a furnace loathe the fire and love the purity it will bring? Refining takes time to remove all the impurities.... maybe that's just where I'll be until made perfect with Him.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;

courage to change the things I can;

and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;

Enjoying one moment at a time;

Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;

Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is,

not as I would have it;

Trusting that He will make all things right

if I surrender to His Will;

That I may be reasonably happy in this life

and supremely happy with Him

Forever in the next.

Amen.
--Reinhold Niebuhr

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths.
Proverbs 3: 5-6

Who was Eve's helper?

Post Partum is never my shining hour. Between lack of sleep, and hormonal issues it seems that I am some one else for about 6 weeks. ;0)

In the late evening hours, when all is finally quiet, I have had time to ponder. Who helped Eve after her babies were born? You know 6 weeks of "only take care of yourself and the baby" sounds great, but can't be practical, at least not to me. Was Adam her helper? This sounds reasonable, except he did have to toil for food and for the survival of his family, right. I wonder if a tired, post partum Eve took on the tasks of everyday life "too soon" because Adam had such a hard day, and some one needed to change the older child's fig leaves, get him a drink and a snack and clean the soiled animal skins for him to sleep on. If not her, who? and she wouldn't want to ask him to do more, while she does nothing.
Of course, Adam probably told her not to "do too much" and to "get some rest." He may have even been glad to help, except maybe when it came to poopy fig leaves... no one's real glad about those.

Is this just another part of my rebelious nature? Who can rest when things need to get done? How easy is "take it easy" supposed to be? And why is it so hard to do nothing?

God Spankins

God set in place some rules, laws if you will, for our benefit.
Say Gravity. Defying the law can bring some natural consequences that are undesirable.
We call them God Spankins in our family.

Sometimes it is Mommy, and not the kids, in need of some spanking.
I've "over done it" a couple of times this week and suffered the spanking.
I think that the pain associated with "over doing it" really is necessary, since it's that which makes me slow back down! I guess I forget that I shouldn't be doing some chores, or lifting some children, until I have that painful little reminder.

God really is a loving Father to chasten His children. I wish I was one to learn without the pain, or at least not as often. ;0)

Catching Up

So much has taken place over the last week or so.... I really don't know where to start!

The move is complete! We spent our first night here on Saturday the 22nd. It was a long time coming, and it sure feels good to have so much space! Today we were blessed with visitors to help me and have a meal together. Eight people were over at one time!!! This hasn't ever happened for our family. Our home was so small that we could barely fit 2 visitors at once! It was a real blessing to me to have that option. I look forward to the possibility of hospitality!

Not much sooner than we got our bathrooms, bed rooms and kitchen settled.... Brianna Joylinn made her debut. She was born Wednesday, September 24th, 2008. Our first evening arrival, at 5:25 PM; she weighed in at 6 lbs. 10 oz. and was 19 1/2 inches long. She is pretty quiet and has allowed me to sleep more than I have allowed myself! On a couple of occasions I have let her cry a couple of minutes for the lung excercise! Everyone is so excited to have her here. Aliyah told me a couple of nights ago, "My hold it. My hold it, Mommy. Your turn all done!"

Not all changes are happy, and in the course of this week we had a sad change too. Wednesday night when hubby got home from the hospital, our dog Buster was ill. He has been a member of the family for 10+ years, and I have often teased that he is our first born. Friday, the 26th we were able to take him to the vet, since baby and I were home and my mom was able to be here for us. Tests found he had very advanced cancer and was not going to live much longer. We made the tough decision to have him put down.
He was a really great dog and we were blessed to have him for the time we did. He is dearly missed.

We have had a very difficult time greiving a loss and trying to celebrate our new little life, and the long awaited home. What was supposed to be a really happy weekend for our family turned into sort of a blur. It feels wrong to feel sad right now, but it feels wrong not to too. I don't know if that makes any sense. With postpartum hormones and all of the changes going on, I really haven't felt "myself."

I should go try to get some sleep, and not "over do" anymore for tonight.
Sorry to leave this on such a sad note, maybe I'll edit it later.