Sunday, May 04, 2008

Surrender.....revisited

from A.W. Tozer's "The Pursuit of God"

"We are often hindered from giving up our treasures to the Lord out of fear for their safety. This is especially true when those treasures are loved relatives and friends. But we need have no such fears. Our Lord came not to destroy but to save. Everything is safe which we commit to Him, and nothing is really safe which is not so committed."

(italics mine)

This truely spoke to me as I read it.
Through the last 3 years the Lord has been teaching me a deeper meaning of surrender. He brought me to a place (shortly before I started blogging) where I was willing to say "have thine own way" and release my will to His, even though quite painful.

Then He blessed us with Aliyah and I have always felt keenly, that I need to let go this treasure....constantly. Treasure her and love her, but always be ready to yield her to His will for her. I often try to relate this to my other little ones, but with her it is a penetrating emotion.

We see her Pediatric Urologist tomorrow; he will be reviewing the results of her latest ultrasound. Her left kidney (the one that works) has grown "bigger" but we don't know what that means. Do they mean longer or is it more dilated? That is the all important question. Longer is ok, it has to be bigger since it is the working one. Further dilated is not so good.

I am trying to remember and practice the Rules for Contentment numbers 2 and 5 especially.

2. Never picture thyself under any circumstances in which thou art not.

5. Never dwell on the morrow. Remember that it is God's, not thine. The heaviest part of sorrow often is looking forward to it. "The Lord will provide."

"God Almighty loves thee better and more wisely than thou dost thyself." ~and if that is true about myself, how much more true of my little one!

I need not think the "what if this...." "what if that..." questions. He has her in the palm of His Hand, and she couldn't be in a better spot than that!

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Lord, I release my children to Your Will for them.... again. (and I may have to keep doing it, day by day.) I do know You have them safely in Your arms and that I can trust You with them more than I can trust me.

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